


Friendly Stalker

by SnoopyLover58



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Been there; done that, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Drunken humor, F/M, funny situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:46:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnoopyLover58/pseuds/SnoopyLover58
Summary: You and Bucky happen to cross paths in the restroom of a bar. What ensues next is hilarious!!!





	Friendly Stalker

The booming bass from the speaker’s had everyone’s body thrumming; men and women gyrating and flirting. You and a few friends decided to meet at “Club Atom Bomb” to blow off steam after a horrific work week.

 

First, your supervisor went spastic on your department, implementing sweeping personnel changes that mean a heavier workload for you. Then, your best friend said “fuck it” and resigned, who, by the way, was your ride to and from the office. And the cherry on top. Cruella de Vil hired an inexperienced temp and was supposed to train her, but **_YOU_ ** got stuck with the prissy dingbat. She was 15 floors short of a whole building.

 

Needless to say, you needed a shit load of alcohol and a little bit of food. After polishing off hotter than Hades buffalo wings, you threw caution to the wind and knocked back 3 shots a 1000% alcohol. Uncertain if it was the alcohol or hellacious wings, your stomach was so upset, you’d belch fire like a dragon.

 

Trying to be lady like, you excused yourself from the table and headed to the ladies room. Staggering in the door, you plopped down on  the less than sanitary toilet.

 

“Fuuuuck. I feel like shit.” Feeling an all too familiar churning, you hopped up and turned around, emptying everything from the last year into the porcelain throne. Seems someone else felt the call of the wild. In the other stall, an all too familiar mating cry erupted. _“EEEEEAAARL.”_

 

Now, you was 6 sheets in the wind drunk but it sounded like a man’s voice. Straining to get from the floor, you grabbed the top of the door, only to see this absolutely gorgeous creature with cerulean eyes, wavy brown hair and the body of Adonis.

 

He looked at you and slurred, “Hhhhey b-ba-babe.” Frozen in place, all you could do was wave.

“Oh shit wh-what are ya doing in the *hick* mens room?” Trying to get up, the handsome lush slid back down to the floor.

 

Belching, “C-can ya help me up?” This was definitely a recipe for disaster. Two frigging drunks, one a man, needing assistance.

 

“Look, you’re cute and all, but I’m drunk too. How can I help you when I can barely stand?” you quizzically gazed at the handsome stranger, seeing 3 instead of one. You shook your head, trying to clear blurred vision.

 

Using the toilet as a brace, the intruder managed to stand upright. “Y-you’re beautiful. Will ya help me outta here?”

 

You attempted to assist him over to his table, where two guys, both shit faced, laughed. “Hey does he belong to you?”

 

The tall, muscular blonde replied, “Yeah, he’s with us. Where’d you find him?”

 

“Puking in the ladies room!”

 

“Damn man,” a handsome guy with umber complexion and a dazzling smile. “Ladies room? You are drunk.”

 

Walking back to her table, you giggled with her friends about finding a man in the ladies restroom.

 

“Did you just help him from the ladies room?” Phylicia queried.

 

“Yep. Listen, I’m gonna grab a cab and head home. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. We’ll talk when I sober up.”

 

“See ya.” Your friends continued to drink and dance the night away.

 

Stumbling into the waiting cab, the friendly stalker took it upon himself to follow her home.

 

Instead of knocking on her door, Bucky opted for the backyard, unwittingly coming face to face Charlie, a gentle German Shepard.

 

To Bucky’s delight, Charlie’s a sweet dog who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Bucky laid on the damp grass and Charlie sidled beside him, listening to her new friend talk about you.

 

“Nice doggie. You’re a good girl,” he said, scratching behind hear perky ears. “You know, we just met and I’m in love with you. Damn, I’m talking to a dog. I’m never drinking again.”

 

Having sobered up a bit, at 3 a.m. you heard Charlie playing around in the backyard with what appeared to be a man. Grabbing your baseball bat, stealthily walking down the back steps.

 

There he was, Mr. Shit-face Adonis, lying on the ground, whispering sweet nothings to your German Shepherd.

 

Visibly pissed, “How in the hell did you find me?” Baseball bat in hand ready to strike.

 

“Hey whoa, whoa. Don’t hit me!” Backing away, Bucky had his hands raised.

 

“You’d better answer my question or I’m going to crack your cranium.” 

 

“Okay, my na-, what the hell is my name? I kinda followed you ‘cuz you’re so damn beautiful and I just wanted to get to know ya.”

 

Lowering her Louisville Slugger, helping the “stalker” into the house.

 

“Oh shit. Imma throw up again," ruining her fluffy Snoopy slippers.

 

“What the hell?!” you eased out of the soiled slippers, chucking them in the garbage. Mumbing, “Those were my favorite too.”

 

Helping Bucky to the sofa, he passed out before his head hit the pillow. “You are gonna have one helluva headache in the morning.”

 

**_THE MORNING AFTER_ **

 

Groaning, slowly opened one eye, looking around, you watched as her handsome stranger awakened. “Oh he-where am I and who are you?”

 

_“I met you last night when you were drunkenly petting my dog, in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when I asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch. So, that’s why you’re here right now. Also, what the fuck is your name and why were you petting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night?”_

 

Providing two aspirin and a bottle of water, you waited until Bucky properly introduced himself. “Okay, first of all my name is James Barnes but my friends call me Bucky. I’m so sorry for throwing up on you.”

 

Quirking her eyebrow, “Go on.”

 

“Please don’t think ‘um some weirdo. I just wanted to see ya again so I told the cab driver you were my girlfriend and we had an argument in the club. Slipping him a $50 tip worked in my favor.” Bucky’s cheeks reddened.

 

“Listen, since you went to all that trouble to meet me, I’ll put on a pot of coffee and make breakfast. Now that we’re somewhat coherent, let’s start from the beginning.”

 

Extending her hand, “Hi I’m Y/N and this absolutely adorable pooch is Charlie.”

 

“Hey, I’m James but my friends call me Bucky. Pleased to meet ya and Charlie you’re a good dog.”

 

Y/N finished cooking breakfast, as Bucky shook the cobwebs from between his ears. Charlie lounged in the living room, tail wagging and ears perked.

 

Bucky and Y/N eased into a comfortable rhythm eating and getting to know each other. It amazed you how your meeting came to be; on the floor in a ladies restroom, puking your guts out!!! Strange huh?

  
  



End file.
